"I keep falling under David Klumpp. This chair could really help you out in life David Klumpp."
"Do you think if I pull on my hair, I'll get taller?""Ken only shaves the insides of his legs."
"I like how you're touching your hair. Do it again. Now, dance around in a circle."
"mmm. texture. I want to touch that (Julia's shirt)"
"It looks like there are goldfish in your ceiling light."
(in a sing-song voice) "We are the crabs. We sit on your balls. And pinch your nuts."
"Do you remember when log-a-log got pwned?"
"Do they have the little house books in scenic locations? Like Little House in War Torn Iraq."
also, look up "bearded justice" on youtube. happiness will result.